Dairy Queen

Labneh Tart with Blackberries and Walnut-Cardamom Crust

labneh blackberry
My father uttered some unintelligible word to the waiter and in minutes the young man returned with a tall, skinny glass of white liquid flecked with green. The beverage was thick but not so much so that it held the straw in place. “Have a sip,” my dad encouraged, as he pushed the glass next to my Coke. “What is it?,” I asked. “Yogurt.”

Yogurt? I hesitated before pursing my lips around the straw to drink. Sour, herbaceous, intensely savory yet very lean-tasting. The excessive saltiness surprised me and I did what I could to keep from spitting out the bubbly brew. “ICK. How can you drink that?”

I couldn’t have been older than nine or ten that first time I tried doogh, the Persian yogurt-and–carbonated water drink. It was at Mirage, a restaurant in Framingham, MA that was owned by dad’s friend. Though not hurting for Lebanese or Greek, Worcester County, where I grew up, lacked Persian restaurants. So on weekend nights when my mom was working, the two of us would travel, mostly silent, to Framingham for big platters of steaming rice adorned with crunchy browned tahdig and sumac-dusted kebabs, accompanied by charred whole plum tomatoes. I avoided doogh for many years; it tasted like watery mast-o-khiar (a Persian cucumber dip similar to tzatziki but made from a much thicker kind of Iranian yogurt). Every time my father ordered it, I recalled the unpleasant way it coated my mouth.

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Sweet, Salty, Spicy

Chocolate-Dipped Peanut Butter Cookies with Aleppo Pepper

spicy peanut2
I don’t love to post recipes that are Valentine’s Day–themed. So I didn’t. Intentionally, anyway. But then I made these chewy, intensely flavorful cookies and thought, “Oh. God. Yes.”

Instead of lacing this post with innuendo, I’m just going to put it out there: These are sex cookies. A little sweet, a little salty, a little heat, and some chocolate—that’s all you need out of Valentine’s Day, right?

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Healing

browned butter triple nut pie

ChristmasPie
I knew what the subject of today’s post was going to be. The meaning of Christmas to me. A religiously confused, complicated young woman. About how I interpret its magic and its universal message. There would be Christmas pie.

But this morning (as I write this it is Saturday, December 15th) it’s just not possible, for I am dead today. Drained from a tragedy that affected no one I know. In a town that I had never heard of. I try not to comment on current events on this site. I have other outlets for that. And although deeply afflicted today, the girl who talks too much has nothing to say. There are too many without that holiday this year. Without that spirit. I need time to heal.

Saturday is baking day. I planned to bake today. Gifts, actually. I can’t do it. You would think taking time, just me and my dough, would be cathartic. It has been through loss and sadness in the past. But this feels different.

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For the Love of Brown

almond flounder meunière


My favorite color is and always will be brown. Brown. Brown is neither dull nor dark. It’s neither one-dimensional nor ordinary. In grade school, I used to fake it. While the girls declared their love for purple and donned their pinkest duds for the first day, I would say I liked blue or something, my neutral and monochromatic ensembles pointing to another affinity.

Brown is the richest of all the colors. It’s the color of the tea that calms my nerves and its usual dark chocolate accompaniment. The French word, “brun,” is essentially an adjective used to describe brown or dark hair, eyes, etc. Coincidentally, it was one of the hardest for me to pronounce when I first started learning. Always having trouble with “r” in any language, English included, I couldn’t fathom jumping from the bilabial “b” to that distinct French “r” with much success. It took years and a French minor to perfect it. Now, I think it’s one of the most beautiful words in a beautiful language. It’s even the name of the only eye shadow that ever tints the lids of my green (unfortunately not brown) eyes.

Brown was the color of the fallen leaves when, two years ago, I suddenly found myself struggling to walk. The shattering crunch they made beneath my feet distracted me from each painstaking step. It was on those walks that I continuously questioned the path I was following. Now, I can run, but I still look forward to their beautiful sound and what thoughts they might provoke.

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